when a service bottom becomes a liability instead of a pleasure
I participated in a kink event this weekend, where there were no expectations and no agendas. Just to have fun at a friends birthday party which was held at a semi-local dungeon. I attended with my Themme and we made it a date night where she made a special effort to feature me in her affectionate displays (as my "date"), and also she performed as a top in a scene with me; mostly for my pleasure as opposed to taking pleasure in what I have to offer her as a submissive. In the past this has served us somewhat well, because she was starting out as a top/domme and I was looking for every opportunity to find value to her, in order to also feel it within myself (due to my HUGE self worth issues which I can't seem to overcome) Ours was a symbiotic relationship where we had mutual value to each other. This time was different though. I learned that I no longer bring value to a scene as her sub; In fact I no longer bring value to anyone as a sub. Nobody cared to even watch what ...