Demon

Her birthday
an epic failure of massive proportions.
OTW home to angst and disappointment
I insist on a stop at the wharf

In the darkness I walked to the end
Lonely heels clack clack clacking on the timbers as a cool breeze peacefully swayed the wharf.
The swell was menacing - big and fast, dark and cold.
pushing the tide towards the shore I saw in the black; but couldn't make out the land.

I looked down and almost without warning I wanted to jump off 
Would I survive?
Did I care?

I guess I must have. 
I thought of my surgery soon. 
Would be a waste if I didn't make it that far.

OH, how naive I was 
that it might matter

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Hi. I'm Allie

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Hi. I'm Allie. I've been Allie, a female, for the past 5 or 6 years or so. But I'm also part of someone else - a guy who's been around a lot longer. He's actually pretty nice, but always SO serious these days and he almost never says no, which means that he's let everyone else in his life define who he is and how he should feel about , well pretty much everything. So how did I come to exist? That's a long story and as near as I can tell I am almost as old as he is. Honestly I don't really know how old I am. We have been in this together for as long as I can remember. It's only recently that I have come to understand that Transgender is not an absolute but rather a whole spectrum of people and identities. My friends have helped me to understand that we can both coexist in this one body I have; and quite happily I might add. for now I'm OK with that. I am told that this is sometimes called gender fluidity. I prefer to call ...
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