Allie 2.0 (Or what's in a name?)
I wrote last time about the first iteration of Allie, and how it was exclusively a digital identity. After a couple years of interaction online, in contexts that were primarily focused on sexuality and hardly dealt with reality, I wanted to meet and talk to someone fact to face about being trans.
I remember googling for support groups and finding the one I currently attend. I liked that it was a small distance from home, away from my work universe slightly, and also in a town I enjoyed visiting as well, so it seemed like a good fit.
I really didn't know what to expect. Part of me probably expected more of a socializing group, and less structure as a support group. But what I found was exactly what I needed, a place where I could open up and share with others about what I was thinking, feeling, doing - and receive feedback in kind. Not advice, but from a perspective of "this was the way I experienced it" sort of support.
And of course naturally some social connection has occurred. Perhaps not all that I wanted; because I am so far removed from the group geographically (as are other participants) and also because the group consists of a multitude of generations, gender identities, and of course personalities. Its a lot like real life in that respect; just because we are allied doesn't automatically mean we are besties. But I did find friends.
But I digress..
This article is about Allie evolving into a real personality. I'll say that again A real personality. I already had chosen the name somewhat. The original AllieCheri (yes there is no space there) was intended to fit in to the former situation and I thought it sounded mysterious, and might stimulate more interest.
But I didn't want to be mysterious with these people I now was with. I wanted to be authentic. So I got real with the name, and dropped the stripper-like suffix Cheri becoming Just me... Just Allie.
At least that's how I introduced myself to the group the second time that I visited. I think its significant because I first went there using my Given name, because I wasn't sure if I belonged or 'was worthy' of being included in the group. Following the epiphany moment (which was during the first meeting) I knew I belonged and that Allie belonged and because of that I introduced authentic Allie to the world (and my wife who was accompanying me) and also for the first time ever I "owned" my alternative gender identity through naming her.
Later on, during a discussion with my wife after that meeting, I asked her how she would feel if I adopted Rae (which was her mothers nickname) as a middle name. She was delighted with the idea because she knew her mother loved me very much and would have been supportive of the current changes.
I remember googling for support groups and finding the one I currently attend. I liked that it was a small distance from home, away from my work universe slightly, and also in a town I enjoyed visiting as well, so it seemed like a good fit.
I really didn't know what to expect. Part of me probably expected more of a socializing group, and less structure as a support group. But what I found was exactly what I needed, a place where I could open up and share with others about what I was thinking, feeling, doing - and receive feedback in kind. Not advice, but from a perspective of "this was the way I experienced it" sort of support.
And of course naturally some social connection has occurred. Perhaps not all that I wanted; because I am so far removed from the group geographically (as are other participants) and also because the group consists of a multitude of generations, gender identities, and of course personalities. Its a lot like real life in that respect; just because we are allied doesn't automatically mean we are besties. But I did find friends.
But I digress..
This article is about Allie evolving into a real personality. I'll say that again A real personality. I already had chosen the name somewhat. The original AllieCheri (yes there is no space there) was intended to fit in to the former situation and I thought it sounded mysterious, and might stimulate more interest.
But I didn't want to be mysterious with these people I now was with. I wanted to be authentic. So I got real with the name, and dropped the stripper-like suffix Cheri becoming Just me... Just Allie.
At least that's how I introduced myself to the group the second time that I visited. I think its significant because I first went there using my Given name, because I wasn't sure if I belonged or 'was worthy' of being included in the group. Following the epiphany moment (which was during the first meeting) I knew I belonged and that Allie belonged and because of that I introduced authentic Allie to the world (and my wife who was accompanying me) and also for the first time ever I "owned" my alternative gender identity through naming her.
Later on, during a discussion with my wife after that meeting, I asked her how she would feel if I adopted Rae (which was her mothers nickname) as a middle name. She was delighted with the idea because she knew her mother loved me very much and would have been supportive of the current changes.
