The peak of irrelevance

I thought at one time, she didn't want me here because I cramped her style.
Now I realize she's been protecting me from people who really don't care about me or my wants, needs, feelings.

At a private play party and everyone watched the birthday girl get her spankings. 
Then 10 minutes later I do my scene and not a single person comes back into the room to watch. The tears begin streaming almost as soon as the lash has fallen.
Do you know how it feels to have a scene, and having exhibitionism being one of the major components of your pleasure from the scene, and literally Noone shows up?
I feel so irrelevant. As if I might as well not have been here at all.
Would anyone really care
Would anyone really notice? 
My partner cares, but now I understand why it's just easier for her if I'm not around.
She doesn't have to insulate me from reality
I'm not a pain slut and a service bottom does not serve the sadist in her
What's the point of being here? What's the point of it all?
Why do I care

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