The Gender Tourist

Today I am filled with  gratitude, love, melancholy, libido, and contentment. I'm feeling really euphoric today.  I am definitely channeling my femme side as I go about my day and reflect on the journey that's brought me here. In the long past (>10 yrs ago), because I did not have community I identified with people who are called cross dressers to find common ground and community. A lot of that identity is cringe for me now if Im honest about it. I don't exactly like being contacted by, followed on social media by, or otherwise interacting with people who identify that way. One of the only reasons I still do is that I firmly believe that a large percentage of those people are in fact trans, but are too frightened or transphobic to admit it and allow themselves grace to accept it. Once I transitioned and gave in to accepting and celebrating the person that is me, AND as hormones have progressively affected my body and my thinking,  I sort of rejected my past identity out

She watched as big preparations developed; and wished that she might help but also knew it was not her place nor privilege, let alone within her ability Trapped in this orbit now, the sungrazer can only witness the events unfold Locked in her outbound spiral, even if the universe asked it the wants cannot become reality. Her path now measured in aeons will not bring her back to this juncture again Silently an understanding develops and the awareness of what she will witness from afar is both wonderful and also yet frightening. She anticipates this transit with trepidation slaked by joy.  Compersion takes hold even as the outsider. Such a conundrum to fear this unknown thing; and simultaneously be aroused by its potential to brighten the star she orbits with self consuming ferocity The scene begins and the young star is locked by gravity. Chains that may as well be laws of nature determine her fate; and its both wonderful and terrifying to witness Will the transit be a conjunction? Will