The Gender Tourist

As I am becoming more aware of my body and paying attention , I have come to realize I have a cycle too. Obviously I'm not genetically female (and not on hormone therapy yet; so could I actually still be on a physiological cycle of some sort? Why might I ask that, you say? Here's the deal: Yesterday I cried my eyes out watching A Dog's Purpose . And even though I knew this was a likely outcome given the subject matter, I really felt like going with the emotions... I really felt like I needed to allow myself to fully feel what I knew I needed to feel. But that's not all. I'm achy, and tired, irritable today. Partly because I gained a freaking six pounds since Saturday! It has to be water, right? I don't think I've eaten six pounds of food in two days!!! And I feel sad. Not depressed, but just acutely aware that change in my life is happening at a glacial pace, or so it seems. And I consider all of these symptoms and I realize that they'

The epiphany about owning my "Transgender" label came to me on one of the first evenings that I spent among like minded and allied people in a discussion group: When I asked the question "Am I trans enough to be in this group?" A particularly well spoken young man explained to me, that "If; when you think about the day that you were born - and the doctor announced your gender by saying 'It's a Boy!'  (or ' It's a girl!' as the case may be) - if you have ever questioned whether that announcement was accurate in any way, Then you are transgender" That simple definition was so liberating to me because up to that point I seriously thought I was just being deviant (a label society trained me to assume) and was 'only a cross dresser' - because I held no recollections of " always being a girl". Up to that point I had believed that as soon as one became self aware of gender identity, all trans people have known and be

Hi. I'm Allie. I've been Allie, a female, for the past 5 or 6 years or so. But I'm also part of someone else - a guy who's been around a lot longer. He's actually pretty nice, but always SO serious these days and he almost never says no, which means that he's let everyone else in his life define who he is and how he should feel about , well pretty much everything. So how did I come to exist? That's a long story and as near as I can tell I am almost as old as he is. Honestly I don't really know how old I am. We have been in this together for as long as I can remember. It's only recently that I have come to understand that Transgender is not an absolute but rather a whole spectrum of people and identities. My friends have helped me to understand that we can both coexist in this one body I have; and quite happily I might add. for now I'm OK with that. I am told that this is sometimes called gender fluidity. I prefer to call